"You sex demon...you snake"

This is a "gay exorcism" at a church in the USA. The vicar calls the demon "a gay snake" and tries to chase it out of the building like some homophobic Pied Piper. Full story here.

What a twit

What the hell is going on with Twitter and celebrities at the moment? Demi Moore and her husband are hooked on it and now Jennifer Aniston has apparently dumped boyfriend John Mayer because he was too hooked on it.

I mean, why on earth do they want to live their lives so publicly with daily updates of what they're doing - from going to the toilet to making a cup of tea? Most of them are always complaining that their privacy is constantly under attack from the media and then they go and get and publicise their most minute movements on the internet.

Ok, I can understand the argument that it cuts out the need for a publicist and PR agent to do all your talking for you but so does a blog. Or a website. There's no need to "tweet" all day.

Bloody hell. I'm starting to sound like the Kid from Brooklyn.

A disgrace

It's been a while since the Dog's Bloggers has been in action due to a lull in public obscenities apart from that American mayor who spent $80 million of public money (about €1 nowadays) banging hookers and of course Max Mosley having a "Nazi" style sex romp where he played concentration camp role play games where he was both prisoner and detainer.

However, I saw something the other day that filled me with such indignation and outrage that I could hardly type or walk anymore. Some disgusting man has decided to create a sex doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and called it the Sarah Jessica Porker "Sex In Her Shitty" doll.

Disgracefully, USGay Today reviewed the doll (why on earth they would take an interest I have no idea) and this is what they had to say:

From laptops to lapdances, this high class piece of ass is gonna show you her lower east side! So get some lube and grab your cock--bend her over and give her something to write about!

There are no words to describe what a public obscenity this is apart from the ones that follow this sentence. Sarah Jessica Parker is an accomplished actor and a star of a hugely popular TV drama series delving into the lives and loves of a group of 30 something ladies in New York. It is not about an anal slut who goes around the city looking for sex in her "shitty".

To think that there are now men out there who are fantasizing that this was indeed the case and that all her pseudo-analysis of the female psyche and life in the city we're just a front for a deeper yearning to get her arse pounded night after night, is quite frankly, a disgrace. It is conceivable that 50 years ago, some of TV's best loved actresses would have been treated in this way. It would have been regarded as utterly outrageous if Marilyn Monroe or Catherine Hepburn had been replicated as rubber dolls with 3 holes and rather than looking for a quintessential 1950's gent in to whisk them away, wanted nothing more than sex in their "shitty".

There are certain standards of public decency that should be upheld. I'm afraid that it seems such codes of moral conduct have quite literally, gone to the "shitty".

PS: Apparently the makers of the doll, "Pipedream Products" also have versions for Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Tori Spelling, Pamela Anderson and Eva Longoria. You can see them all here.

Yeah right

Received this in my mail today. I'll just get my wallet out mate. Can't wait to receive that lovely 16 million dollars. This must be my lucky day!

CENTRAL BANK OF Nigeria

       FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
       CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
        TINUBU SQUARE LAGOS


CONTRACT #: MAV/NNPC/FGN/MIN/009,
Swift Code: BPH KPL PK,
A/C#: 329606=101244=169=678
Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/08


IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT NOTIFICATION MAV/NNPC/FGN/MIN/009.

RE: INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH THE SUM OF US $ 16,000,000.00

ATTENTION:SIR/MADAM

Following the protest of the International Community, The World Bank, IMF and
the instruction by the President and Commander

in Chief of the armed forces (Chief General Olusegun Obasanjo) that all
outstanding foreign debts especially next of kin

payment should be released to the benefeciaries forthwith unconditionally.

From the records of outstanding debts due for payment with the Federal
government of Nigeria your name  was discovered as

next on the list of the outstanding,  who have not received their payments. We
wish to inform you that your payment is being

processed and will be Released to you as soon as you respond to this letter.
Also note that from my record in my file your

outstanding contract payment is us$ 16,000,000.00 dollars($ 16,000,000.00
United States Dollars).

Please re-confirm to me if this is inline with what you have in your 
record and
also re-confirm to me the following;

1) Your full name.
2) Phone, fax and mobile #.
3) company name, position and address.
4)profession, age and marital status.
5) Copy of int'l passport,drivers linsense,or any valid ID card.

As soon as these information's are received, your payment will be made to you
by KTT central bank of Nigeria direct Wire

Transfer for you to go to your bank and you confirm it.

Regards,


Mr. Tunde Lemo
Tel:+234-8059293902
DIRECTOR, FOREIGN OPERATION DEPT.
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA .

Disgrace

I received this junk mail today and almost walked off in disgust:

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Goalkeeper celebration

This goalkeeper's celebration is reminiscent of my dog when it wipes it's arse across the grass:

Kaka v Peru

The goal is quality but it's the little jingle after the commentator goes mad that you have to listen to. When I was about 15, me and my mate heard this "Brazil!!" thing in a BBC2 football special which was devoted to football for the whole weekend. One of the programmes was a documentary about the great Brazil side of the 70's and at some stage, they played the little jingle. We thought we'd never hear it again but we often fantasised that we would. Unfortunately, my mate became obsessed by it and, combined with the yellow shirts that shone so brilliantly because it was the first World Cup boradcast in colour, he had a sort of breakdown which involved him going "Braziiiiillll!" at any given moment. This one's for you Jockey:

Chris Kamara goes mental like Robocop

Chris Kamara is already quite rightly recognised as one of the greatest football pundits of his generation. But this clip sums-up Kamara in all his beauty. From the way he says "Papa Boupa Diop - the man mountain himself" to "Papa Boupa Diop with the header!!!" to the way he seemingly malfunctions when he doesn't know whether Fulham have scored or not (they did but it was disallowed) this is true genius.



It can only be compared with the scene in Robocop where Robocop is having a dream and the malfunctions and goes mental. Is it possible that in this classic scene, Robocop had a premonition of the disallowed Papa Diop goal - just like Kammy. Or is it simply that Kamara is Robocop? The variables are quite simply, mind boggling.